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Ulf Kleinings

Cologne, North Rhine-Westphalia, Germany

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83% response rate · Last login 28 minutes ago

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Overview

  • 433 Positive References15 Neutral7 Negative
  • Fluent in English, German; learning English, German, Swiss German
  • 23, Male
  • Member since 2005
  • Video editor
  • HighSchool * LawSchool (now&then) fr...
  • From Cologne
  • Profile 100% complete

About Me

CURRENT MISSION

READ: . a) . my CouchINFORMATION . - . b) . my neg refs (hilarious!!!) . - . c) . TO BE MORE SUCCESSFUL ON CS IN GENERAL: . http://tinyurl.com/Ulfs7tips

ABOUT ME

I'm
us Kölle
Oh so European,
a little bit impatient,
definitely extremely liberal,
at quite some times quite funny,
really very scarily hairy here and there,
(even still!) a tiny little bit overweight on certain parts
Hardly ever boring but sometimes perhaps a tad irritating…

AND
To some I may come across pretty offensive sometimes - see below!
(but I swear: I usually do NOT mean it:
PLEASE read my GENERAL DISCLAIMER
before bashing me publicly or reporting me to anybody!
AND WATCH THIS John Cleese Interview on PoliticalCorrectness and Sensitives sickening Societies...!!!)

To be clear: I consider this (especially in the US and thus on CS prevailing) "faith in 'The Church of Neatness'" - aka: following the ideas and principles of "Political Correctnes" and "Non Violent Communication" - very, very retarded and nothing but a phony farce!
To me it seems very obvious, that most of its followers - especially all those CS wonks - are so strictly faithful to the rules of these two schools (and that so very publicly!) first and foremost to make themselves look and feel like better persons.

I on the other hand believe much more in honesty and straightforwardness.
So when you do or say something that I consider stupid, then I'll call it stupid - and not say: "I'm not sure I understand you correctly..."; and when I think you lie, then I'll call that a "lie" - and not an "exaggeration" (both of which has been "suggested" to me by some CS patronizers - aka "moderators", "administrators" or "Safety Team" members).
Live with that or leave me alone - I do not make concessions on this.

I react rather angrily to ignorance and hypocrisy - to the point where it might be (or come across as) intolerance to both!

I often suck at realizing that I might be "better" or "faster" a certain things than others or that they just come easier to me (just as it is the opposite way around with other things). And then by expecting the same from these others that I know I can expect from myself, or by being as demanding to them as I know I can be to myself (when it's about these things) I might ask too much of and consequently irritate, intimidate or alienate them.
I'm sorry about that and I try to be less like this - but regularly fail. If you can be lenient with me on that, then this would be awesome!

Free counters

NOW YOU SEE ALL THOSE WONDERFUL REFERENCES ABOUT ME BELOW
and so you might think:
"He can't be that God-like - surely he must have paid all those guys!"???
Well - it MIGHT be quite enlightening
but WILL SURELY BE very entertaining for you to
READ SOME VERY DIFFERENT IDEAS ABOUT ME!!!

01) In order to give all a fair chance, to collect some opinions about me, that are clearly not very positive, I had here for months a list with names and profile links of a couple of CouchSurfers (whom I fondly called 'my dear friends from CS's funny-farm - the notorious "Brainstorm"-group(s)'), who did (and mostly still do) repeatedly express their dislike/disdain/loathing for me in posts in CS groups like that very Brainstorm group.
THEN I got anonymously reported for that to CS's own MDST (Member Dispute and Safety Team), and instead of insisting on their very own directives ('We ask that members first try to work out their differences between themselves in a clear, calm, and polite manner, either in person, or over the phone or email'), the MDST guys once again honored such ratting behavior (thus long-term strengthening a culture of mutual denunciations among CS'ers - rather than the alleged concept of your responsibility for yourself, and [...] self-moderating community [...]), by letting the rats have it their way when on their behalf exercising their MDST-power over me, by ordering me to take off the names and ask these guys' permission first!
The MDST DID, however, allow me to put (Perma)links to posts in here, in which those guys speak about me. Even the fact, that from there it's just one more click to the poster's profile, didn't make the MDST re-consider their prohibition to put these profile links here directly!?!
So here we go: (list of Permalinks -sorted by their authors - coming soon!)

TO TOP THAT MADNESS, one of the guys, whose names I had to take out of here, copied and pasted the entire bit, that I had to change (INCLUDING THESE NAMES!) in a public post RIGHT HERE:-D

02) Learn what an actual CS friend of mine (compared to whom even I would never be considered offensive really:-D) believes to know
about my sex life!

03) Check out this awesome thread
(referring to this picture, brought up by fellow CS'er GmU in this silly thread from my own pics side from here on...)!
{You gotta ask me about the real story behind that pic when we meet!}
Granted: that one comes straight from those lovely "different" minds of our good friends from CS's very own wanna-be watch-group,
but it's still hilarious in its own (totally unintended!) way:

04) Like, for example, also those very nice and exemplary OCS posts about - Hey! - me and my dick, apparently;-D) -
including an actual "HEIL ULF !!" 'joke'!!!

There are also some really lovely specimen of steeped in friendliness CS'ers in some of Europe's capitals, like

05) Berlin, about me working with German commercial network RTL
for this report on one of their most successful ("boulevard magazine") show ''RTL EXPLOSIV WEEKEND" (German with {SELF-MADE!} English subtitles)
- first in this (German only, unfortunately) thread of November 2007
as well as this second one going on at the same time!
- and then again in another thread started ALMOST 2 YEARS LATER
by Laura from Berlin-Potsdam but in the Cologne city group (and at least at last in English even...) who actually was on my CS friend list for more than 2 years before I took her off after she'd insinuated in this post that I was co-responsible for an actual rape by taking part in that report...

06) Berlin, again, about a media report about CS again, all in German again - but containing this pearl with Uwe picking apart my whole profile in an outstandingly inept and pitiful attempt to offend me personally:-D

07) Some very fine examples of highest style of posting by 'Fraser' and 'Puuraja' ([CTRL]/[STRG] + [F] search the page for those 2 names after opening that mega-long thread!!!) in
THE OUTSTANDING COLOGNE ORGY THREAD...

08) One of my all-time favorites:
the Ulf bashing thread of July 2009 in the London city group,
containing Ash Bongster's unsurpassable epitome of ''Jerry Springer''-like gutter style in posting

X-P

PHILOSOPHY

"Jeder Jeck ess anders"
( "Every loony is different" )

AND

"A day without laughter is a day wasted"
( Chaplin )

AND

"The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled
was convincing the world he didn't exist."
( Keyser Söze / Roger "Verbal" Kint ,
"The Usual Suspects" )

Why I'm on Couchsurfing

HOW I PARTICIPATE IN COUCHSURFING

They didn't really want me to participate anymore, for they (want to) believe that they have to 'look for the interest and well being of the community at large over individuals' (yep - that's a quote from one of those former CS patronizers!
I guess they need to believe that... Others have real-life successes and actually matter (there):-P
AND I AM ONE OF THE CS COURT JESTERS - BUT NOT "JUST A CLOWN"!!!

I treasure humor as a great way to interact with other humans
(see: CNN's Lou Dobbs' Gut Check on straight talk & honesty in comedy)
and I happen to like my sense of humor!!!
YOU DON'T HAVE TO LIKE IT, too, but AT LEAST TRY TO HONOR WHAT CS IS (also) ABOUT by letting all kinds of ideologies coexist!!!

Now it feels to me that there are
- too many on CS who get offended by every little bullshit,
- even more with that very sick urge to get offended on behalf of others (who remain weirdly anonymous and have apparently never asked anyone to express annoyance on their behalf!), probably just trying to gain (self) respect (or whatever) from showing public indignation about others' opinions or actions,
- too many who don't bother (or are simply unable?) to think for a second whether or not s.th. was meant to insult anyone - or perhaps just (for example) to be funny
AND
- too many who believe to serve the community best by constantly helping the first three group of CS'ers listed above and protecting them from criticism and I fear that this way they only encourage and enable them to go on being this way...
(Ulf has been thinking #4: The Coarse, the Dolt and the Over-Aiders...)

And since especially that latter group of "helpful" CS'ers seems (or at least clearly used) to be the vast majority on all the main CS groups I kind of made it my task to raise a different voice on CS, state a different view here and there and argue for more than just one way to do things for CS, to argue in groups, to communicate with members and so on and thus to actually take the CS mission and vision serious and fight for variety and tolerating the coexistence of more than one culture (including different cultures of communication or different styles of humor...)!

COUCHSURFING EXPERIENCE

Thanks first to my yearlong stay on the USIU campus in San Diego, CA, and then, of course, to CS I now have friends everywhere, use these connections a lot to get around and am always glad having these guys as my guests in Cologne

Interests

Sauna

Movies,

Musicals ,

Politics & History ,

Having a Kölsch or two (or three...) or -if need be- some other kind of beer with friends,

Traveling to other places, meeting foreigners and learning about customs, opinions and ways of life which are different to mine

and

Law

Music, Movies & Books

Movies:

almost everything by SPIELBERG
[especially "E.T." & "Schindler's List" ]

almost everything by CHAPLIN
[especially "The Kid" & "The Great Dictator" ]

almost everything by F.F.COPPOLA
[especially>"The Godfather I , II and(YES!!!) III " & "The Outsiders" ]

almost everything by MONTY PYTHON
[especially "Life of Brian" & the 2 German Episodes, especially the first withNO dubs but the Pythons speaking German! of "Flying Circus" ],

almost everything by DISNEY
[especially "The Lion King" & "The Jungle Book" ]

and almost everything by HITCHCOCK
[especially "Psycho" and "The Trouble With Harry" ]

AND

"Good Will Hunting" , "Dead Poets Society" , "The Never Ending Story" , "Threesome" , "Star Wars" (and I hereby declare George Lucas a big-time asshole for being too vain to let some other director{s} do Episodes VII-IX when he feels too old to do them himself!!!), "Stand by Me" , "Gladiator" , "Cider House Rules" , "The Usual Suspects" , "Murder on the Orient Express" , "The Name of the Rose" , "Ocean's Eleven" (& "~ Twelve" ), "One, Two, Three" , "Full Monty" , "Saving Grace" , "All about my mother" , "Au revoir, les enfants" , "Ice Age" , "Shrek" , "Once upon a time in The West" (& " ~ in America" ), "Lola rennt" , "Goodbye Lenin" , "Sleepers" , "La Boum" (and more: "La Boum 2") ...

TV:

"Gilmore Girls" , "Sex and the City" , "The Simpsons" , "South Park" , "Mr. Bean" , "Nip/Tuck" , "Desperate Housewives" , "North And South" , "Picket Fences" , "Ally McBeal" , "E.R." , "Cinderella '87" , "Band of Brothers" , "Kir Royal" , "Stromberg" (Germany's "The Office" -“ even better than the U.K.'s original!!!) , "Falcon Crest" ,
and
"ALF" and "Twin Peaks"
AND
ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING by Heinrich Breloer !!!

Music:

Soundtracks,
especially (almost) EVERYTHING by John Williams ,

Musicals ,
especially Andrew Lloyd Webber & Claude-Michel Schönberg ,

Oldies,
especially (almost) EVERYTHING by The Beatles but also ABBA , The Beach Boys , ..............

Kölsche Hits,
especially (almost) EVERYTHING by De Blääck Fööss and De Höhner ...,

AND MANY MORE...

Books:

"Les Miserables" , "The Beach" , "The Wave" , Michael Moore's Books , Grisham's Books , Harry Potter (totally addicted!!!), Krabat ("The Satanic Mill") , "The Pillars of the Earth" , "Treasure Island" , "The Neverending Story"
AND BIOGRAPHIES,
especially 3 very good ones about Chaplin , Evita and Hitler !
[NOT L.o.t.R.  - for me reading that crap was the MOST BORING waste of time ever - the only example I'd know of where the movies are worlds apart (better!) from the books!!!]

One Amazing Thing I've Done

Lot's of little things with all the kids who so much enriched my life: my group kids (during my many years as a leader with a Catholic youth group), all my babysitter kids I took care of in the last 15 years including my Godson Jakob - and especially since May 2003 my nephew and Godson Peter and since October 2006 my new nephew Paul!

Some unusual sex experiences

The "Angels Landing" trail in Zion National Park

Paragliding above the Gulf of California at the beach right in front of our beautifully located hotel in Mazatlan AND tandem parachute jump during sunset on Oahu, Hawaii

Las Vegas

Grand Canyon

For a night at a gay sauna in Berlin being the "guinea pig" for a gay friend of mine, who wanted to proof to me that (t)his Freudian theory is true, according to which I (just like every straight guy) by nature would be "a bit" gay, too ;-)

World Youth Day's ("The Pope invites the Youth of the World...") 2002 in Toronto and especially playing a (smaller) role in the organization of WYD'05 in Cologne

AND

FIFA WorldCup Germany 2006

Teach, Learn, Share

Thru my activities on CS I've met an alarming high number of people who are obviously unable to spot irony or sarcasm when it's in front of their eyes let alone to handle it properly!
I don't even wanna imagine how they surely must suck at any attempt to use any themselves - but luckily this is unlikely to happen, since the apparent reason for all these CS'ers' pathetic inaptitude with regards to irony is surely based on a general condemnation of irony within the CS community, since it's a possible source for misunderstandings and then offences.
Btw: THAT's irony it iself:-D

Anyways - so I decided to give anyone a helping hand on IRONY and SARCASM who might need it!

Just meet me online or face to face!

Sauna

Fasting

Cologne (and OUR (!) Carnival !)

Digital Video Editing

traveling on a shoe-string in Europe using low-cost airlines and online train offers etc.

What I Can Share With Hosts

Me!

Countries I've Visited

Austria, Bahamas, Belgium, Canada, Croatia, Czech Republic, Denmark, Finland, France, Ireland, Italy, Liechtenstein, Luxembourg, Mexico, Monaco, Netherlands, Poland, Portugal, San Marino, Spain, Switzerland, Turkey, United Kingdom, Vatican City State

Countries I've Lived In

Christmas Island, France, Germany, United States

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