Five years ago I threw everything I owned into the garbage and moved to Argentina. Then a lot of people were like "wow you're tall." Then a drunk guy on the street gave me his business card, said he was an agent, and tried to get into a bar through the window. Then I sent him headshots. Now I'm an actor and I've done roles like: Crack-addict dancing thief that dresses like the Pink Panther, psychopath murderer with gigantism, a thirst for blood, and a heart of gold, awkward guitarist for a melancholic dance-pop band from Nebraska, and "Willy", the lead in a zero-budget remake of Kill Bill called "Kill Willy." Also I'm a writer, filmmaker, and translator, and when the power goes out in summer I write poetry by candlelight like some Victorian piece of shit.