New Theory
As everyone knows, string theory allow time travel, because string theorists are always travelling through time, and it pisses the rest of us non-string theorists off that we can't also do it (because we don't believe their theory). But what if the fundamental constituents of the universe aren't strings, or even superstrings, but SuperFloss. Think about it: if you're some brainiac with a microscope, and you see some SuperFloss, you're so stupid you're probably gonna confuse it for a string. Ergo, we can still time travel with our theory, and not commit to some idiotic idea that the universe is not made of floss. Of course it's made of floss. To suggest otherwise is just stupid.
This has been a peer-reviewed paper by Andrew Gardner. It will be published in this month's edition of Science Today magazine.
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