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He showed us his stump, Victoria. Ever see a man's stump? Guy's like, 'Go on, man. I want you to know how it feels. Touch it. Touch my stump.' Disgusting! So don't tell us that Bucky Haight wasn't shot, 'cause we were there. We touched his stump.
Read the rest of my profile, please. Do it. Do it now! I've buried a personal secret here and there among the inanity that is a web profile. After you finish reading, have a drink of water and fry some rye bread. Call your mom. Maybe take a nap. And don't forget to turn off the stove.
This heading used to read "personal philosophy". I liked that much better....
Why I’m on Couchsurfing
HOW I PARTICIPATE IN COUCHSURFING
There's this "CouchSurfing" thing I have going on, here and there. Get this: something about surfing and couches and something, something...Now, how many bona fide CouchSurfing experiences do I need before I present a list without seeming a dork about it all? And should I divide it according to Couchers' heights, weights, or their volume or length of hair? (You know, just to give this list some heft.) Come on, people, a little help over here!
Before CouchSurfing (before I joined the Union), there was couch-surfing (when I was freelancing), which was always—always, dammit!—strictly a glamorous experience but only due to addiction, irresponsibility, and poverty. Did I remember "stupidity"? Yeah, that one, too. Especially that one.In addition to surfing couches, I've had the fortune to surf bathtubs, benches, floors, backyards, patios (thank you, kind souls, you all know who you are), and pavement and bus shelters (thank you, Mayor Susan Thompson of Winnipeg, 1992 to 1998). One day, if I'm lucky, I hope to surf a closet. I also hope that, one day, I'm senile and have the ignorantly blissful freedom to go to the toilet without removing my pants. But then again, don't we all? Don't we all?
EXPERIMENTAL TRAVEL Hiking K2 was the first experiment.
EARTH The Earth. You know, the planet.
FREECYCLING It's probably not what you think but there's likely a group in your city.
PHOTOGRAPHY If I can squeeze two decent shots out of a single roll, I'm a happy boy.
READING Recently, I've adopted a short attention span and can only manage (short) short stories. Sometimes I get through an entire one in one sitting.
SKIING Only in the spring. I'd like it more if it wasn't so damn cold! Or expensive. Or white.
DANCING Two minutes into a Goa trance, vocal tranceâ
Music, Movies, and Books
Canadian content (Can-Con), as defined by the Government of Canada:
Simply put, it's about Canadian artists and Canadian stories having access to Canadian airwaves.So, in the spirit and duty of a decent, law-abiding Canadian, I offer you these gems of Canadiana:
Now hear this!
The Be Good Tanyas Like, umm...the littlest birds singing...music to my ears.
Bent Outta Shape Chris Ladd, man! Are you out there?
Bif Naked I like her much better sober than drunk. Her sober, not me. Well, me, too. Maybe I'm just nostalgic; please forgive me if she no longer shreds the stage.
The Blue Meanies Not to be confused with the Blue Meanies, but The New Meanies. Confused?
Bill Bourne Mr Bill Bourne. Not only cool because he wears a top hat but because he has no need for shoes. (It's a MySpace link—sorry!)
Buck 65 Yes, he speaks like Pokey Jones from Highway 61
Crash Vegas "Red Earth" is truly one of those Desert Island albums. Look for it on LimeWire or plead a copy from a friendly, generous Canadian with a decent record collection.
From Calgary. Yes, this Calgary. You've heard the stories, seen the videos, grooved to Broken Social Scene, and yet you did not know that she is from Calgary...
Great Lake Swimmers Can "folk" music "rock"? Yes, it can!
The Inbreds Drums and bass. Not drum and bass.
Terry Jacks Sure, he only had one song, but it was a gooder! And he's from Winnipeg, eh?
Justin Rutledge (and the Junction Forty) Sad, sad drinking music—even when you're sober.
King Cobb Steelie Canada's. Greatest. Band. Ever!
Mood Ruff Representing Peg City, I, too, do my own stunts.
Rheostatics Go see them play. Bring the kids. Leave the dog at home to watch reruns of Twitch City on television. Or DVD, if he can afford it.
Speaking from experience, you will absolutely dance your ass off—right off!—when you see the skassault live. Notably, you would be very fortunate to see them live. Unfortunately, an ass replacement is expensive. And, I imagine, painful. So, take the pain, or pick up a CD and listen to it in the car.
Tegan and Sara Formerly Sara and Tegan.
The Tragically Hip This band, admittedly, is an afterthought as I've been pleading with them ever since 1994: "Stop, please stop. For the love of all that is loved, puhlease...just...stop!" Alas, my pleas have gone unanswered but those early 90s were gooders, weren't they?
The Watchmen Dammit! Where are they now?
The Weakerthans John K. Samson needs to bust out a CouchSurfing profile! Suggested username: Propagandhi-Nothin'!
Most Recent Gooder, eh?
Margaret Atwood The Handmaid's Tale
David Bergen A Year of Lesser
Douglas Coupland Generation X / Shampoo Planet / Life After God et al.
Brian Fawcett Gender Wars: A Novel and Some Conversation About Sex and Gender
Margaret Gibson Sweet Poison
Tomson Highway Kiss of the Fur Queen
Thomas King One Good Story, That One / Coyotes Sing to the Moon
W.P. Kinsella Dance Me Outside / The Miss Hobbema Pageant / The Moccasin Telegraph et al. except for the baseball stuff
Brian Maracle Crazy Water: Native Voices on Addiction and Recovery
Farley Mowat My Discovery of America
Hal Niedzviecki Concrete Forest
Lisa Priest Conspiracy of Silence
Monique Proulx Aurora Montrealis
Paul Quarrington Whale Music / The Life of Hope / Galveston
Josef Škvorecký The Cowards
Cordelia Strube Milton's Elements / Teaching Pigs to Sing
Michael Turner Kingsway / Hard Core Logo
Rudy Wiebe, Yvonne Johnson Stolen Life: The Journey of a Cree Woman
...This will have to remain a work in progress.
Please stay tuned...
All right, now take a break, man! Have a bite to eat, go for a bike ride, anything--this machine will rot your brain! What I meant to write is:
Please come back and visit soon.
I will milk the milk, if you cook the cookies...
Countries I’ve Visited
Aruba, Austria, Bulgaria, Canada, China, Colombia, Croatia, Czech Republic, Ecuador, Germany, Honduras, Hungary, Italy, Latvia, Lithuania, Mexico, Poland, Romania, Serbia, Slovakia, Slovenia, United Kingdom, United States
Countries I’ve Lived In
Austria, Canada, Poland, United States