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Moving Around Drunk, Without My Glasses

1 House of fun or house of pain
2 I feel like Spain is in Ukraine

3 Hungry in Hungary, watching Bill Maher
4 Never got drunk in Bar so far

5 Don't have corkscrew? Open bottles with fork!
6 Screw the pork, brew your soul in the city of Cork!

7 30 Tsingtaos can fly you up to Qingdao
8 Fall from above? Fix headache with Manu Chao!

9 Remember those times when we crazy laughed like we did?
10 "This banana isn't from Split, though it's banana split!"

11 First time I've heard some chicks callin' me quirky
12 Was that time when I talked 'bout Thanksgivin' in Turkey

13 I fancied that girl, but I was such a fool
14 No blow job! Left me penniless in Istanbul

15 She had wow huge breasts! Blockin' your visual area:
16 Like one Brest in France, one Brest in Bulgaria

17 Bagged once for money in the streets of Hannover
18 With pizza on my mind and a strong damn hangover

19 Backa Palanka, Quba, Cuba, Montenegro
20 Life's in such a hurry like it's keen on allegro

21 And time's passing fast when you sprawl in Belgrade
22 See you next life, if you get passing grade!

23 Two years ago I went to the sunny Naples
24 No T-shirt, all I got was this lousy staples!

25 Map on my mind: get wasted, get up, get down;
26 Bought a sexy gown from Port of Cape Town

27 For my nice stepniece from Nice
28 Whom I french kissed in Tunis

29 Got high like fuck from dry gin in Bucharest
30 Butt naked, havin' wet dreams with dressed Mae West

31 Watchin' porn on a Dell laptop in Tel Aviv
32 Wanna badly come, battery betta not leave!

33 Almost got killed by Campari in Bari
34 Lots of shots in my body like Mata Hari.

35 Thought I saw Viggo Mortensen on a pub down in Vigo
36 Got so high from booze like I had weird vertigo

37 But maybe I was high like that time in Shanghai,
38 You shaped my high spirits like a bonsai...

39 There was a bloody earthquake in shaky Japan
40 I heard souls flew out like Peter Pan...

41 A guy I know brought me some Japanese whiskey
42 A strong sip and my mind became suddenly frisky

43 That night I spoke to a sparrow, embraced the slime
44 "For relaxing times, make it Suntory time!"

45 Police tricked me like religion uptown Marrakech
46 Fancied no Visa cards, accepted only cash

47 Pa had a panic attack when I phoned from Baghdad:
48 "It's raining bombs here, think I'll come back in a bag, dad!"

49 Never set foot in Vaduz, but one night the booze
50 Flew me there; I trembled, along with my loose screws

51 Left Prague, went to see that girl near the Hague
52 Wasn't a waste of time, though she wasn't home...fuck!

53 A friend of mine just moved to Hamina last week
54 Now I've got like only 2 guys to hang out with

55 My liver shivered in pools of Liverpool's ale
56 If you knew me you could say this was your biggest fail

57 Sometimes you think of her ("Is she still in Berlin?");
58 You feel light-headed, wandering the streets like Huck Finn...

[...]

59 Did da dew in Kathmandu
60 Felt so empty, there was no you...

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