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To save the world from myself.
Officially I'm the world's only Living Saint. Though I look like an angel, I'm not. I'm actually a High Priest in the Church of Hypocrisy preaching water while guzzling wine.
When not practising Heavy Drinking For Journalists, I am working on a bestseller which will re-write the history of WWII. But not the result.
After that I will edit the Bible into tabloid format: Did God score with a virgin? Was Jesus the first man in space? Adam & Eve - stop ribbing me. Sodom & Gomorrah - DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME. How to turn water into wine. Easy . . . learn to spell.
Then I will update the Kama Sutra and correct errors in Einstein's Theory of Relativity. Everyone's warped, not just time and space.
STRENGTHS: As an ex-fighter pilot, multiple Nobel Prize winner and serial Olympic gold medallist, I AM SICK AND TIRED OF BULLSHIT ARTISTS.
WEAKNESSES (if any): way too shy, far too modest, much too humble.
Now if that ain't practising what I preach.
"What good I can do, therefore let me do it, for I shall not pass this way again." French Quaker missionary Stephen Grellet.
"What we know is a drop, what we don't know is an ocean." Sir Isaac Newton
Right thoughts; respect; non-violence and non-materialism. Siddharta Guatama (Buddha)
Why I’m on Couchsurfing
HOW I PARTICIPATE IN COUCHSURFING
Recruiting for Alcoholics Anonymous.
Have not got my wings yet.
Drinking Earl Grey tea in the morning after a hard night's drinking, reading, talking, relaxing, dreaming, sleeping, making mistakes, learning, etc etc.
Travelling the path less taken. Long-distance cycling. Avoiding work- it's a complete waste of time. I've got better things to do.
- rock climbing
Music, Movies, and Books
- Great voices (Harry Secombe's arias! Maddy Prior, Elvis etc). Calming classical music. Steppenwolf's "Get your motor running." Bagpipes. The sound of railway locomotives.
- Great speeches/rhetoric (Churchill, Kennedy et al).
- Great movies ( Chaplin's "The Great Dictator").
- Great writing (Bertrand Russell on religion, Marc Aurel's "Self Reflections"; Viktor Klemperer's "LTI" (misuse of the German language in the Third Reich) etc etc
One Amazing Thing I’ve Done
Climbed Mt Everest backwards in a wheelchair with both arms broken and no brakes.
Discovered the spice chile in Mexico before Colombus. With a tad of this atomic herb, I can eat boots, truck tyres and concrete pylons. Chile eyedrops are great too.
Teach, Learn, Share
GREAT GURUS: Polish President Lech Walesa.
I once interviewed Lech Walesa in his Gdansk office. Before he angrily turfed me back out on the street, I asked the great Solidarity leader what he thought of prostitution after his son had been caught in nearby Gdynia's magnificent three-storey "Bodega" brothel.
"We must fight good with evil," said Walesa.
Walesa's non-stop barrage of legendary homespun wisdoms had so confused the translator she got his reply back-to-front. Crazier still, Walesa even manages to confuse himself. As President of Poland, Walesa promised to slash the cost of living by 100%. Against Walesa, communism never stood a chance.
Background info to the infamous Walesa-Bodega story:
Bodega's website is: www.gdyniawnocy.pl/en
Bodega's advertising slogan in English runs, "Bodega is a place you need." Unfortunately for Walesa's son, it was the last thing he needed. His marriage went to the wall and the Warsaw press had a field day brandishing the magnificent headline: WALESA IN BROTHEL.
Bodega's marriage-destroying slogan has been lost in translation. In German it reads: Bodega - ein Platz für dich! = Bodega, the place for you!
In Polish it reads: Bodega to miejsce, ktorego szukasz = Bodega, this is the place you are looking for.
Unfortunately for Walesa's son, he found it, spent all his money on wine and women and left his driver's license behind as a guarantee he'd cough up the zlotys. A Bodega employee could not resist the temptation of calling Warsaw's gutter press and the rest is divorce court history.
Moral to the story: honesty does not pay.