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Matthieu Carlier

Saint-Denis, Île-de-France, France

Accepting Guests

10% response rate · Last login 3 days ago

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  • 86 Positive References1 Neutral
  • Fluent in English, French, Spanish; learning Italian, Russian
  • 29, Male
  • Member since 2007
  • being fabulous. Read my book: http:/...
  • modern litterature at the university...
  • No hometown listed
  • Profile 100% complete

About Me


Find the Holy Grail, I'm sure it would look great on my mum's chimney


Since I've read On The Road, I can't stop traveling. It's mostly because I get bored pretty easily, so I keep my backpack with me pretty much all the time. Also, it looks cool.

Little update : I wrote the text above three years ago and now I realize how cocky it sounds. Anyway, I'm still an arrogant fuck, but now I work as a journalist and I stopped judging (most of) people.
Oh, and I published a book (http://daphnisetchloe.fr/catalogue/de-a-a-l/le-cortege-des-epileptiques/). Don't waste your time reading it though, it's about pancakes and unicorns.

OH AND ONE THING, you cheap and lazy so-called travelers who think CS i a free alternative to AirBnb: if you wanna stay with me, you gotta be fucking specific!!! SPE-CI-FIC!!! The reason why I only have a 10% response rate is I don't even take the time to reply to your boring and lazy requests if it's three lines saying you and your GF are gonna visit Europe for the first time, and it's so exciting, and oh my god, I can't believe I bought this Interrail ticket, and meeting locals is sooooo important to you. I don't give a raccoon's ass!!!! Come on, do your own personal thing, write a decent request and show me why you deserve my orange couch. Otherwise you'll get a lousy reply, cuz you're a lousy individual.

This website deserves dedication.

Thus, I made a scale to judge your messages, from Donald Trump to Mélanie Laurent to Céline Dion to Spongebob Squarepants to Jack Kerouac. If your message sucks, you'll get a sucky character as a reply. HA HA!! Who's the local now??? But you won't understand, cause you didn't read my goddamn profile.
If your request is ok, I'll write a complete reply with a decent character in it. And you WILL understand.

Don't get too cocky though.


"I make for my goal, I follow my course; over the loitering and tardy will I leap. Thus let my on-going be their down-going!"
Nietzsche, "Thus spoke Zarathustra" (Mwaaahhhhaaaahhhhhaaaa, sardonic laugh)

Why I'm on Couchsurfing


I surfed hundreds of couches on 4 continents. I even sometimes surf my own couch just to know how it feels./>


In Colombia, I slept on a big orange stinky couch and I loved that, so if you have a big orange stinky couch, please contact me.
Also, during my trips around our poor planet, I slept on all kinds of crazy mattresses, beds, futons, floors or hammocks. Thanks a lot to all my hosts, I will never forget you guys!!!!


Reading, writing, singing, road triping, and most of all making my life a little more exciting (or maybe less boring) everyday.

Little update : that definitely sounds cheesy but I will leave it here as a reminder of how cheesy I can be.

Music, Movies & Books

Philosophy: Nietzsche, Nietzsche and NIETZSCHE!!!!!!!
Litterature: On the Road, Big Sur (Kerouac), Waltenberg (Heddi Kaddour), Cien anos de Soledad (G. Garcia Marquez), Germinal (Zola), L-F Celine, Vian, Gide, H. S. Thompson, Proust, London...
Poetry: Ginsberg, Rimbaud, Musset, John Keats, Antonin Artaud...
Movies: Trainspotting, Fight Club, Citizen Kane, Harrold and Maude, Le Voyage sur la Lune (Melies), Burton, Gilliam, Kubric...
Music: Arcade Fire, Bob Dylan, Arctic Monkeys, Ghinzu, The Red Hot Chili Peppers, Cat Stevens, Noir Desir, Tetes Raides, Bjork, Billie Holiday, Nina Simone, Of Montreal...

One Amazing Thing I've Done

One day, I rode a pink poney on orange clouds...but maybe the mushrooms my friend gave me just before I met the poney were not regular mushrooms. Other weird things: somebody suddenly dying in front of me; me burning my own hair (not on purpose); a guy with a beard repeating he's going to RRRRRRRRichmond; three ghosts; four goats; an old man grabbing my prick in the street thinking he can seduce me that way; one sexual overdose; so many people picking me up even though I had a three-week beard and a three-week smell; 4557 and a half parisian nights; George Bush talking about righteousness; a thousand young Germans pewking at the same time on a hill; so many fucked up relationships; two riots in Paris; two scars sculpted by the cops; 5 nights in a jail; my Mum saying maybe she's proud of me; the end of my novel; Tyler Durden appearing in front of me; Zarathustra doing the same. I'm not finished, I'm just lazy.

Little update : cheesy... and awkward.

Teach, Learn, Share

I can teach you how to eat a Flamby in 2 seconds, fart with your ears, perfectly throw a Coca Cola bottle on a battalion of cops, make people believe you are the new messiah, get kicked out of three night clubs in one night, save people from suicide, make stupid people feel like shit, etc etc...

What I Can Share With Hosts

My Game Boy Color.

Countries I've Visited

Argentina, Austria, Belgium, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Brazil, Chile, Colombia, Croatia, Czech Republic, Germany, Hungary, Ireland, Italy, Liechtenstein, Mexico, Paraguay, Slovakia, Slovenia, Spain, Switzerland, Thailand, Tunisia, United Kingdom, United States, Uruguay, Vatican City State, Venezuela

Countries I've Lived In

Argentina, Austria, Canada, France, Ireland, Mexico

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