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TANGO ARGENTINO. The most touching language. (Mission Plan-B: Letting go of Tango, force myself to some discipline and doing my next film.)
I'm a burning and loving artist at heart. Passionate Tango-addict. Creative mind. Emotional filmmaker. Constantly sensually seduced and always looking out to dig deeper, being touched and laughing out as loud as it gets. Driven by my heart I never know where I might end up.
If you don't mind just read the "interests" below. You'll find some thoughts about myself that will give you an idea about who I am and who I am not yet and who I want to become. Quite a task. Damn. I am always very impatient when it comes to existential tasks like becoming a human being.
I love to speak frank and direct. I am very emotional and like to weep and laugh to keep my balance. I like spiritual thoughts although I'm not very fond of the vocabulary people use to speak about "energy flows", wtf! I love to touch and be touched, both physicaly as well as mentaly. I love to move a lot, and to be moved.
I dislike to learn how to be happy being single but getting closer to it constantly. I actually have a clue about myself. I love myself (5/13/2013: firsttime note ;-)
I'm a firm believer in the power of positive energy/attitude (call it karma, if you like), helping others and laughing out loud. Happiness fuels success, so I try to play that out in my life and in my profession (that is one of my passions) as much as possible. I have no time for haters, posers and selfish people who think the universe is only about them; life is too short and there are better things to focus on!
First of all:
L O V E.
Live and let live.
Sounds obvious, right, but isn't. I have my problems with this subject, damn it. But it's what I'm looking forward to learn until the day I die.
What else... dare! (I have to recall this each day again, and each second day I forget it.)
Some phrases and quotes:
(just to do this profile step by step)
"We are the slaves of a mask hiding our true face. If we free ourselves from this, the beauty of truth will be ours."
"When you mix truth with false it all becomes false".
"The truth is never battling illusions,
and illusions are never battling the truth, either.
Illusions are simply battling against each other, always."
(A Course in Miracles)
"Matters are not disconcerting in general, but only how we perceive them."
"Direct is Open is Honest. But it can be a lethal weapon for others. Be aware!"
"Better will regret things I did, than things I´ve never tried..."
Why I’m on Couchsurfing
HOW I PARTICIPATE IN COUCHSURFING
First time I simply logged in. Just because I got in contact with it by hitchhiking and couchsurfing with www.hospitalityclub.org. (And this is one story about lovesickness I can tell you when you'll be my guest.) Now I'm trying to find the leisure to improve my profile ...
... has just started. And it's amazing so far. And no end in sight ... But well, amongst many there is one cs-experience in particular I liked the most, and it is very personally in it's nature.
There might be some confusion or some might even consider it as harassment of their moral opinion when I add this to my profile quite bluntly. But as I wrote before: I love to communicate directly and honest.
If you read attentively you'll spot this little adventure somewhere else on this profile. And hidden within it you'll find a key-sentence in bold letters which you can refer to when requesting me. Just optional and to proof that you are really into true couchsurfing and read my profile attentively ... but please feel free to just ask for a couch without further ado! I know how hard it sometimes can be!
Update: Well, I guess I'm getting more and more experienced in becoming a better host. It's just great, what can I say ...
Development. But how to ..?! By daring more and more, in general and in particular (e.g. by trying and making movies). But wait, don't I hate it? Developing ... it hurts so much, sometimes, and over and over again I have to conquer my boundaries, my fears. Don't I hate it? ;-)
I love CINEMA! I am a little cinephile. I'm damned interested in making experiences I solely can make by sinking deeply into another's life I never could live. What a magic possibility, each time I watch a non-entertaining piece of art! And well, the entertaining ones are great too. As long as theiy are in some way unique and matter.
I like it a lot to PHOTOGRAPH. Not a pro yet. Not at all. I have the eye, but I'm not the type for the mastery of the technique in detail. I made a couple of short films as a cameraman and it was a pure joy to focus and to be part of something bigger.
If you are interested: here are some examples of a few photos with a normal consumer camera, shot at one of my trips. I like them as a personal memory because they testify to a initial experience for me when I could perceive the driving force behind all conscious arts. At least I think so.
This delayed action released pics (click on the image) I did on myself to transcend my self-pity while couchsurfing lonesome and lovesick in Budapest in 2006. I guess it is the force behind every creative expression that struck me there.
I love to make MOVIES! It is my profession and my passion, no doubt. I'm interested in the entire process. It is my way of getting closer and learning about myself and in the same time I use it in order to overcome my self-centeredness. At the Hamburg Media School I studied two years and graduated with a MA in Directing in 2012. If you are interested in the art and craft of making movies I am excited to exchange ideas with you.
One short I made at the European Film College in Denmark already some years ago you can watch here:
A teenager daring the unknown and getting in danger.
DK 2009 | Video/DVD | 12'18'' | 16:9| | Colour | Language: EN | Subt: EN, GER
"Camille is 15 and hates her mother. She just humiliated her again in front of everybody. And when she secretly fucks with Uncle Robert - why shouldn't she seduce her cousin Dennis to try out how sex really is? Furious she leaves and takes the bus to the city. A stranger takes her for a hooker. He asks her to go for a ride."
A short and intimate Coming Of Age Road-Night-Story
You can "like" it on facebook of course ;-)
I love to LOVE. Giving and getting love. Sounds banal. And well, it is not. And both I have to learn lifelong. Sometimes I'm afraid of being not daring enough to love, it's when I detect myself hiding inside in safeguarding.
And then there are those circular reappearing defects when I try to get loved by others while cheating on them meanwhile. (Update 2014: those times are over. I learned my lessons. I learned how to be honest, however complicated the situation seems to be. So some of the following lines have become a window to my past self.)
Sometimes I can't love myself enough, and blanc egoism misleads me to offend sensibilities deeply. It only happens maybe each fifth year, but damnit, it still happens time and again. Why can't I just escape this eternal recurrence and be the one who I actually can be? (Update: well, I can.)
"When there is no truth, end the lie." you can read on Aaron Schultzes profile...(But hey, I'm this type of guy that needs a girlfriend all along. It's just me, I love to be with women, love their tender strengh, love and need their beauty. Each day without being with a girl is some kind of a lost one, can't help it. (That's my honesty, I won't apologize. And as we are close to a topic this website and even some entire societies are not allowing to speak in public about: yes, I also love sex. Oh my gosh!)
I love BEAUTY. Just pure beauty infront of me and around me (and hopefully as much as possible inside myself) is enough to make me blissful - like e.g. in 2001 in Barcelona. Tear drops run down my cheeks as I stood there in front of Antoni Gaudís Casa Battló. And tear drops are also dripping out of my eyes each time someone is feeling and recalling truth with his words and from his eyes. Wow, that sounds creepy elevated. Scusa. It just means that tears come easily to me when something is honest, I guess. And it says that if laughter and tears are linked together, then there is only one way to laugh very freely: cry freely.
I Love WINDSURFING. 15 years long it was my absolute passion. Unfortunately I do have neither time nor money nor a car to follow the storms at the moment. But the day will come again ...
I like RUNNING. Just started to run in the morning when it's still foggy on the dyke to escape my newborn lovesickness, and guess what happend: I found out that I am still a coherent strong piece of human being and my ability to stand and grow became even bigger. So feel free to ask me for a run. (2011/12/04, did my very first Marathon in 2012.)
I kinda like YOGA and would very much to practice it more oftenly, if only ...
ROLLERBLADING is cool too. I use them instead of a bike to get from A to B. And SWIMMING is lovely! Oh, and I love to SAUNA! It's the best for relaxing body and mind and for staying healthy and just feeling newborn again. Feel free to sweat with me whenever you feel for it. I'm a total fan of those hard boiled aromatic steam treatments in this hut with 100 degrees ...
I love RECONCILIATION. I guess it's my main topic storytelling wise. The necessity of letting go. Life as lifelong learning process to die in peace.
Watch "Så som i himmelen" ("As It Is in Heaven", 2004, Kay Pollak). I snivel almost 132 min. running time through. And yeah, it's just much harder in real life, but it's what it is all about in the end for me. I love to ...
(... be continued ...)
Music, Movies, and Books
It's quite tiring me to do all those stupid listings in this space here properly. And when it comes to movies, then the list is so long and varied that I would ask to look at facebook. So first of all links to more of my own stuff:
Not a day without MUSIC. Except being in nature to feel the pureness.
Some alltime favourites:
My library & some loved tracks on www.last.fm
One Amazing Thing I’ve Done
No sightseeing = no boredom. Instead I am telling you here about the most incredible and beautiful one-night stand a guy like me can have (so far ;-). And yes, I know, cs is not supposed to be a dating site, but hey, if this story is "accidentally" connected to it, what shall I do about it? Hide it? Nope, no way. So here we go.
One beautiful day a text message struck me like Amor's arrow while I was rollerblading to fight my sadness. Some days before my girlfriend left me for good and I suffered quite deeply. (Nowadays I know that this wasn't the true reason for my selfpity, but if you are part of the suffering-circle it is hard to see the truth: you are always the only person responsible for your happiness and in general not supposed to seek the responsibility by others or the circumstances, don't you agree?)
But on this very special spring day in the end of April I not only hadn't reached the silent middle of the taifun of my mind and soul yet, but on top of it I had forgotten to meet up with my upcoming cs-guest. So there she suddenly popped into my misty mind, sitting in a café and looking beautiful in her summer-dress.
As it turned out we liked each other a lot while smoking cigarettes in front of the café and drinking beer. Soon we chatted about love as this topic involved her own recent experiences equally as mine. She herself had just had a brake-up.
Back home we cooked Spaghetti Alio e Oglio with a lot of hot pepperoni, and I was a little surprised as she took out a bottle of Absolut Vodka and Redbull cans and casually placed them on the kitchen table. In addition to my wine that I bought on the way to the meeting with her (out of a probably knowing feeling) we now hat plenty of aids to get closer to each other.
We made ourselfs comfortable in my room, had the perfect improvised candle-light dinner and became more and more drunk ... and well, how I managed to cope with my shyness I can tell you if you want into detail with two cups of coffee in our hands, but only if you are free-minded enough.
I think a lot of people here could tell a similar story, but the stupid moralistic values of the big system we are living in are judging it as not suitable. But all I can say so far is: this was one of my best nights ever. I love you, www.couchsurfing.com! The only flaw of this almost perfect one-night stand was that it was one.
visited 17 states (7.55%)Create your own visited map of The World or jurisdische vertaling duits?
Teach, Learn, Share
I can't juggle, I don't play the banjo and I can't teach you how to belly dance. But we can have a good time in peace and quiet together, if you like. Optionally while drinking a wine at some romantic place. I can teach you how to feel free and connected without talking too much.
Update: But I'm learning TANGO ARGENTINO right now! Feel free and come with me to one of those Milongas in the evenings! I can teach you the basics that are nothing but walking together in unification to the music.
Countries I’ve Visited
Ecuador, Hungary, Ireland, Spain, United Kingdom
Countries I’ve Lived In