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Jarett Kolbe

Chongqing, Chongqing Municipality, China

Maybe Accepting Guests

Last login 4 days ago

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Overview

  • 7 Positive References
  • Fluent in English; learning Chinese (Simplified), Spanish
  • 36, Male
  • Member since 2006
  • I shuffle around China trying to fin...
  • Bachelor's degree in European histor...
  • From Clearfield, PA, Amurica.
  • Profile 100% complete

About Me

CURRENT MISSION

inspiration, knowledge, travel, and worldwide kookiness

ABOUT ME

I'm silly, weird, different, and a lot of other adjectives. I'm kind of outspoken at times, and at times it gets me into trouble, but so be it. Tact is for people who haven't mastered sarcasm. I've done stand-up comedy while sober, buzzed, and literally holding myself up with the mike stand. Sober is easier, but drunk is way more fun. I love coffee, books, arguments of any sort, weird bohemian coffee shops and bars, live music, playing live music, meeting insane people who let utter strangers sleep on their couch.

PHILOSOPHY

Unless you're Buddhist, you only get one chance at life. And if you are Buddhist, odds are you're going to come back next time as a dung beetle, veal calf, lab monkey, wild cow, or some other extremely unhappy form of existence. Live it now-you won't get to later.

Why I'm on Couchsurfing

HOW I PARTICIPATE IN COUCHSURFING

I amuse people. If I can figure out something better than that, I will.

COUCHSURFING EXPERIENCE

I couch surfed in Reno while I was in school up there for a little bit. I came home from Vegas to find my apartment trashed, two people I didn't know in my living room, and my roommate overdosed in his bedroom. After taking him to the hospital, dealing with parents, etc., I had no roommate, rent was due, couldn't afford it...blah blah blah. I couch surfed for about a week before I found a new place. It would've been more fun if it wasn't midterm week. I have also couch surfed in Shenzhen with a cool hippie Bulgarian girl, met with people from all over China, and have had who knows how many 重庆人 and stray rugby players in my place since I came here.

Interests

reading, writing, improvised kung-fu (only while drunk), adventure of any sort, driving random places with utter strangers for no reason at all, guitar, bass guitar, a little bit of drums, writing, living, occasional drunken silliness, playing rugby, and new experiences in general

Music, Movies & Books

Anything by Palaknuik or Tom Robbins, Hunter S. Thompson, P.J. O' Rourke, Tim Dorsey, Plutarch, Suetonius, Voltaire, other miscellaneous history, lots and lots of satire, and pretty much anything else. I'll read your cookbooks just to get my fix. As far as movies go, I watch nothing but old seventies pornography on a reel-to-reel player. Seriously. It's just not entertainment without kneesocks and Afros.

One Amazing Thing I've Done

I have pissed off the London Bridge during spring break, danced a jig in front of the World's Tallest Thermometer, drank a beer in every casino on the Las Vegas Strip in one night, lost my wallet in Tijuana, slept on the beach for four days in Fort Walton Beach, Florida (fun spring break place), driven from San Antonio to Las Vegas nonstop myself with the assistance of about twenty Red Bulls, nearly drowned myself in the Yakima River because I suck at kayaking, shot dynamite in Colorado (is ! a word?), been to every state in the U.S., had a couple of articles nationally published while in college, wrote and published a rather silly book, and had my life threatened by a guy after I wrote an article making fun of Kanye West during the Katrina debacle. I still haven't been to Europe though. I have been to a lot of Irish bars, eaten lots of Spanish tapas, and stood on a chair with about thirty members of various countries to sing a rousing version of "Stand Up If You Hate the French" in a British pub in Chengdu after a rugby tournament, so I feel like I've already been there. I'm also trying to learn more Chinese because someone's going to have to do the interpreting when hordes of 中国富二代 finally finish buying up the West Coast. So, yay.

Teach, Learn, Share

I have an pretty broad knowledge of history which I will gladly bore you to death with. So far, the only thing this has gotten me is a lot of top scores on trivia games. However, eventually it will do some good. I'm happy to impart all of the knowledge I wasted time and money in school cramming my cranium with. I'm also a decent cook...mainly a survival skill, since most of my roommates or girlfriends could find a way to burn water. In return, show me something interesting, like your poetry, music, or kung fu. I'm really hoping for kung fu. I want to wander the earth, like David Carradine. I can also teach you some basic Chinese, like how to count, order food, flirt, or insult a taxi driver.

What I Can Share With Hosts

白酒。I'm sorry in advance. Take a drink, and, if you don't hate me right away, you're either a full-blown alcoholic or a 老中国男人。 I can also bring 梅子酒,which is much more tolerable and won't strip the lining from your stomach. I can also cook a few Chinese dishes and teach you some fun slang, like 小白兔。

Forgive the poor Chinese. I'm trying, damnit.

Countries I've Visited

Cambodia, Canada, China, Laos, Mexico, Thailand, United States

Countries I've Lived In

China, United States

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