CURRENT MISSION

THIS IS A TEST ...

ABOUT ME

HI! My name is Prudence Parker. Welcome to my profile :) My intention here is to meet and/or get to know lots of new people (maybe make a friend or two)and have as much FUN in the process! My ideal would be to find (my) Mr. Darcy. Do not expect anything less than completely rediculous & random, or, ME!

MY MR.RIGHT,(A LIST):

1. He wants to coach, teach, guide, and be a part of a child’s life. Ideally he will want children of his own; if he wants to carry and deliver them too, he is welcome to bypass any and all hoops I might have had him jump through.

2. He has to be high energy and active. I may not be as active as my son but I AM high energy.

3. He Must own exactly 3 castles [ If he has less than 3, he must invade and capture the appropriate number of castles to bring himself up to quota ]

4. He Must KNOW what he WANTS. When a man can not make a choice, he ceases to be a man [which movie?]

5. He Must be emotionally available; willing, able, wanting, and ready for a relationship.

20 THINGS MY FUTURE PARTNER OUGHT TO KNOW,(A LIST):

1. It is a requirement that we partake in obsequious banter on a daily basis.

2. You will be the navigator. Because I have no sense of direction. At All. Do not think you will change this. Yes, you may buy me a GPS.

3. I think it would be super if you would help clean up after dinner if I cook, or to cook every so often and I'll do the dishes. Or we could just have a bunch of babies and have them do the cooking and cleaning. It's Irish tradition anyways.

4. I love recieving LOVELY compliments. I also love all those associated 'ACTIONS' that make me feel like the most special & beautiful woman in the world. The feeling is equivalent to inhaling a balloon filled with orgasm. This is how you will let me know how much you appreciate me. This is important, don't forget.

5. All members of the family are required to play fight, wrestle, hold thumb wars under the tables secretly, and settle arguments by way of roe sham (rock, paper, scissor) - this is absolutely non-negotiable.

6. I despise sleeping with no blanket. At the very least, a bed sheet will do. Actually, a bedsheet is much better; I sleep sounder in the cold vs. hot. I understand within the summer months the AC bill might be a bit overwhelming. Its ok, you can get a second job.

7. A Good Man in a bad system is still better than a Bad Man in a bad system. Yes, our words & actions really do matter.

8. I find a man’s feet and hands incredibly handsome. Please do not metrosexually lotion your hands or wax your toes. It’s weird. Note: clipping nails is HIGHLY encouraged.

9. There are by no means any exceptions to the following -> if I do not have enough sleep, I will NOT function properly. I will be running on crabby pants fumes and most likely collapse mid-anything.

10. As it stands now, which is to say I may or may not be like this in ten years -> Strangers think I'm shy, friends can't shut me up and crowds make me super nervous. Just know.

11. Sometime between my writing this and meeting you I will have conducted a rather remedial level research assignment on the Stalin years of the Russian Federation (which I know nothing about) - put into context all 41 catalogued symphonies of Mozart as well as an academic discourse on the relative merits of all his unnumbered symphonies. And when we take over the world, we shall play Shostakovich's 5th.

12. You will have a weekly bromantic getaway with your brofriends whereas I will have my peaceful 'me' time to put mashed banana on my face and paint my toes accompanied by obnoxious chick flicks.

13. When I am: sad, happy, unhappy, unsad, bored, excited, want-to-go-out, don't know what else to do, can't be bothered, have too much energy, need to be alone, want to sit next to someone, it's too cold out, it's too warm out; want to be with you in a way that's deeper and purer than talking to you about random nothingness, don't want to be with you, hate you, love you, need to think, need to laugh, need to be in someone else's world; Just know that you can take me for a super long drive for some CAMPING!!! (Unless you’re already working a second job to pay for the AC bill, in such case, you most likely won’t have the gas money. It's ok, you can improvise.)

14. I really am your biggest fan. Know this. And Never forget.

15. I would enjoy it very much if you had your sports to love. And while I may not ever enjoy sports I will get excited that your excited. Forwarning: I have a genetic predisposition to be a Bears/Cubs fan.

16. Way deep down in the deepest(er)of places within whatever makes us human, people crave honesty; the world needs more courage. Have courage, and I'll be strong.

17. I am for whatever reason deeply comforted by books. I will ask you to build (or purchase if you aren't handy that way) lots and lots of book shelves. I promise to be the designated book shelf duster.

18. I am all about creative! It permeates nearly everything I do. I will love to dote on you in weird quirky ways. In time you will have perfected your Jedi Ninja displays of affection for me in exchange for superfluous amounts of doting.

19. I am NOT a "dude". You are NOT a "dude". Note the following, There are 3 types of men in my world: Dude, Douche, and men I know.

20. After many many years when we have discussed everything there is to ever discuss, and have perfectly charmed each other old and decrepit, we will sit in complete quiet and carry, in eloquent silence, that never ending conversation that won't end.

First Date PRELIMINARY QUESTIONS:

1. How long can you hold your breathe?
2. If you could have any super power known to man, what would it be and why?
3. How do you appreciate women?
4. Do you have siblings; brothers, sisters, order?
5. Would you rather lose your left leg, right arm or ONE but cheek, like in Voltaire?
6. Do you even know who Voltaire is?
7. Did you just google it?
8. Do you like yourself better as every year passes?
9. Do you know what 'Your' mission is in this life?
10. ARE YOU HAPPY ???

WAIT!!!

DISQUALIFYING FACTORS: IF you can say 'Yes' to ANY of the following, Need NOT Apply,(but best of luck mate!)

1. You have gold teeth, Bling-Bling, have excessive tattoos or tilt your head in pictures.
2. If your chugging a beer in your profile picture, If your shirtless in your profile picture, if your chugging a beer whilst shirtless in your profile picture.
3. If you use your cell phone on the treadmill at the gym OR habitually do not wipe your work out equipment off after sweating all over it.
4. If your shirt can comfortably fit my child, You have to flick your head to get your bangs out of your face, Wear skinny jeans or have purchased jeans w/ holes already in them.
5. You talk about yourself in the third person,don't respect your mother or haven't learned to share.
6. You take up two parking spaces or walk around with a Bluetooth cemented to your head because it makes you feel special.
7. You hang a crucifix in your car but haven’t been to church since Christmas and you love drinking and pre-marital sex.
8. You are unable to manage your addictions, emotions or expectations.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME! HAVE A LOVELY DAY!!!

P.S. Please address your first letter with "Dear Prudence". I'd like that, and it will probably make me squeal w/ delight!

Interests

• writing
• books
• folklore
• tattoos
• cooking
• beer
• running
• coach
• working out
• drinking
• painting
• camping
• sports
• wrestling
• tourism