CURRENT MISSION

To serve life and facilitate healing

ABOUT ME

I am a constant exchange of energy flowing through everything, all the time. In fact according to Modern Physics, Eastern Wisdom Traditions, and my understanding of the Shamanic World-View, there is nothing more. There is no substance to this reality. There is only pattern, the dance of Universal energy (or God, if you prefer). The Plant Kingdom makes up a complementary energetic pattern to the Animal Kingdom, which is how we can feed off of the Sun and the Stars, The Mountains, and the Ocean. It is far more than a gaseous exchange between our lungs and the leaves (lungs) of the trees. Every energy our bodies expel: urine, feces, blood, sweat, and tears, as well as our shifting vibrational pattern, serves as compost for our plant counterparts.

As far back as I can recall I have been a hyper-sensitive individual. I seem to have been born with a limited ability to filter external stimulus. Light, sound, taste, smell, anger, sorrow, joy, jealousy, fear, everything the human body is designed to register from the surrounding environment has generally had a much more pronounced affect on my organism than it appears to have had on those around me. This has been as much a blessing as it has a curse. I enjoy life deeply and am overwhelmed by the destruction and disregard for the sacred natural world around us.

I am very fortunate to have grown up on the edge of a small town, with a large yard and garden and to have been connected to a 1,200 acre parcel of communally owned land, where I was able to heal, reflect, and commune more deeply with my primary teachers, the spirits of the plants and animals, of the directions, of every element of being that chooses to present itself to me.

I still enjoy climbing trees, walking barefoot on the earth, swimming in natural bodies of water, or digging my hands through the soil. I also practice Qi gong, Yoga, Dance, and other methods of grounding.

I know that (unfortunately) this all may sound a little crazy to some, hopefully not most of those who are taking the time to read it, but Gaia is no more a theory than is photosynthesis, or human reproduction. We are one organism, energy absorbing, dissolving, reforming, endlessly. Why it is that, even among those of us who accept it, so few of us consciously experience it and to such a limited degree is still a mystery to me. I do know that has taken me many years of study, practice, and grace to arrive at the point where I am able to intentionally direct this energy to restore balance and harmony within myself and others, a skill I am just beginning to develop. I appreciate your patience as I continue to learn.
N~

PHILOSOPHY

Love.

Why I’m on Couchsurfing

HOW I PARTICIPATE IN COUCHSURFING

Inspiring and being Inspired.

COUCHSURFING EXPERIENCE

mostly just friends and family so far.

Interests

you name it.

• animals
• cats
• insects
• writing
• books
• dancing
• education
• environment
• dining
• exercise
• yoga
• running
• meditation
• walking
• gardening
• clothing
• cycling
• sports
• rock climbing
• swimming
• teaching
• forestry
• history
• medicine
• physics
• volunteering
• lakes
• rivers
• mountains

Music, Movies, and Books

too many to list right now.

One Amazing Thing I’ve Done

I survived a Jaguar attack.

01/01/11

New Year’s Greetings from the Bolivian Rainforest!

Some of you may recall a short string of emails that I sent from Peru, around this time last year, when I was studying with the plant medicines and indigenous healers of the Upper Amazon. In one of those emails I mentioned my friend the Jaguar and my willingness to give my life for this animal / spirit. I was recently almost given a chance to do just that.

This past month I have been working with a rescued jaguar Yaguaru, Ru for short. Ru is one of five jaguars at Ambue Ari, an underfunded, understaffed animal sanctuary, about five hours from Santa Cruz, Bolivia. The goal of the organization, which runs the sanctuary, is to provide protected habitat, rehabilitation, release, whenever possible, and humane care for animals that for various reasons cannot be returned to the wild. It was started by a man selected as one of Jane Goodal´s heros, after he and a group of Bolivian street kids, with whom he was working, decided to find a piece of land for some animals they had been able to free from inhumane living situations. They began with Parrots and Monkeys. As the organization grew and they were able to acquire more land, they started taking in larger animals like Ru, who, with his instincts still intact, has a reputation as one of the most dangerous cats in the park and has caused some serious injury to volunteers in the past, mostly due to his playful nature and to limited volunteer training.

Ambue Ari is run almost entirely by volunteers, like myself, with little to no experience and can be a bit dangerous as a result. Most of the volunteers (there are about twenty of us now) get jumped, scratched, or bitten, sometimes daily, but rarely seriously, mostly no
big deal, like the clouds of mosquitoes, tics, bora bora, foot rot, and food poisoning. It goes with the territory. Still I am grateful. It is clear that I am exactly where I am meant to be. I had visions of my cats (Niko the Puma and Ru the Jaguar) long before I arrived here and they were assigned to my care. They are a part of who I am, a part I am learning to heal, a part I am healing to learn.

Most of the cats here have been rescued from, or given up by, circuses, zoos, the black market, and/or private collectors of ¨exotic species¨ Their histories are usually quite traumatic and they require a great deal of patience and care, as a result. In addition to feeding, exercise, and other stimulation, they require protection from poachers, which means that after working six and a half nine to twelve hour days, we all take turns doing night watch. This coupled with extreme heat, humidity, and clouds of mosquitoes, has lead to many sleepless nights and one potentially fatal mistake, on my part.

Every morning my partner and I take Run out for a walk on a runner system (a series of cables to which he is attached by a leash) along a set route through the jungle. There are several points where one cable ends and though a fenced barricade we clip him to the next.
Once he is securely attached to the new line, we unhook him from the previous one and he continues on his way. It was at one such barricade where I slipped up and inadvertently freed him from both the lines, meaning that the only thing separating us, was about fifteen
feet of fence. When I told my more experience partner, who was at the other end of the line, what was happening, he yelled for me to ¨Get the Hell out of There!¨, which wasn´t particularly helpful advice given that there was really nowhere to go and no way of outrunning a jaguar, despite the copious amount of adrenaline pumping through my system.

As Ru came around the fence, I could see that he was about to pounce and in an instant I realized that there was a very real chance I could be dead in a matter of seconds. Jaguars are known for their ability to crush a human skull in one bite. I made a conscious
decision that I would rather live a bit longer, given the choice and moved as calmly as possible to the opposite end of the fence. Ru jumped me, shredding through multiple layers of clothing and just breaking the surface of my skin. Fortunately, he was in a playful
mood and I was able to maneuver the both of us around the fence, reconnect him to the line and escape his grasp, with minimal loss of blood and before any real damage was done.

A couple of days earlier, I had helped free Ru from an entanglement by the river, during which time, I also put my life on the line for him. My theory is that the respect I earned from him through that ordeal is what kept him from tearing me up like he has done others in the past.

When the day after I arrived at the park and was put in a cage with a puma, Niko, who is terrified of humans in general and men in particular, I felt and still do feel, relatively safe (relatively, because you know these cats can be a bit unpredictable), but still felt that I would be unable to share with my parents much about the work I am doing here. Since this most recent reminder of the fragility and unpredictable nature of life, I have changed my mind.

Just before I left for the Amazon in October of 2009, I sent a self-addressed envelope, containing my will and testament, to my mother´s address, knowing that she would open it if anything were to happen to me. I don´t recall exactly all of what I wrote, but the piece I do remember and would like to share with you all now is that I have absolute faith that my time will come in accordance with the Universal will and I welcome that time with gratitude, humility, and eager anticipation.

Fear, grief, frustration, and despair are still real forces in my life, but I have come to see them as refractions of light on the surface of a wave in an ocean of love. I may not feel it as strongly in this moment as I did when I wrote you all at the beginning of last year. I´m experiencing many hardships working with the animals here at Ambue Ari and while the total experience has been deeply rewarding, my daily life has been more challenging in many ways than it has been in years.

I sleep on a bed of moldy straw on wooden planks in a dorm with the rest of the volunteers, cockroaches, bedbugs, and other mysterious blood-sucking insects. It´s the rainy season and my clothes are rarely dry. My insomnia is worse than ever. I´ve suffered headaches,
muscle aches, earaches, stomach aches, and many other challenges. My meditation practice is weaker than it´s been in years, as is my equanimity.

But, I have come to regard all of what life has to offer as a practice, a long preparation for death, or the gateway into another life, eventually into enlightenment, or heaven. I´m still following the teachings of both The Buddha and The Christ, and the many other spiritual teachers preaching love and compassion, in accordance with my own heart. So, while for the sake of my ego, my family, and my friends, I will continue to take care to protect my body from harm I have no fear of losing it.

I am choosing to share this now, just in case anything should happen to me before we meet again and in case I never get around to writing any of the books germinating in my mind. I want you all to know that the core of my spirit, the core of us all, is Pure Love

and that Love is Eternal,

Beyond Life and Death,

Beyond Space and Time,

Fully Present in Every Moment.

Look Inside.

Listen Deeply

and you will Feel the only thing that I really want to share.

As Always,
Nathaniel

2005
I was going to pick up where I left off, biking the coast of Oaxaca 5 and a half years ago. I could write about my time in Chiapas and the current political climate among the Zapatistas, the mountain school where I was supposed to teach, or the family I stayed with in Comitan. I could write about all the wonderful places I was able to visit: Mayan ruins, rainforests, waterfalls, volcanoes, lakes and rivers. I could write about how I made it to San Pedro, the day to day adventures and all the interesting people I met along the way. Hopefully one day I’ll get it all out.

For now, I’d rather go into some more recent developments in my life. I’ve spent the bulk of this last year working as the campaign organizer for the Sustainable Forestry Network. The goal of the organization is to bring about an end to the highly destructive practices of clearcutting and chemical spraying in the forests of Oregon. It’s definitely an uphill battle and the work has taken a lot out of me. There are some very positive and exciting developments in the field of eco-forestry. More and more operations are managing their lands without the use of chemicals or clearcuts. They are able to provide more and better job opportunities for Oregon’s forest workers, while increasing the diversity of the forest ecosystems and still making a profit. Unfortunately sustainable operations are still an extreme minority and, as with all environmental problems, the general public has very little truthful information about the current rate of destruction and the urgency of the situation at hand. “I’m sorry folks, but buying a Prius is not going to stop global warming. Recycling does not cancel out massive over-consumption, and a Greenpeace membership does not make you an environmentalist.” Trying to convince Americans that our way of life is not socially, environmentally, or economically sustainable can definitely take its toll and as I’ve had to cope with the anger and depression that seems to plague environmental and social activists, I am forced to step back and reflect on the bigger picture.

The human race and a large number of other species may in fact be on the brink of extinction. On the other hand, it is entirely possible that our resource based economy will not be able to withstand the end of the age of oil. The simple principles of supply and demand may force human communities back to a localized agricultural base and drastically limit our consumption level, giving the planet a chance to heal. We are facing a difficult transition period, but the end result could be a vast improvement over our current situation. Of course economic collapse just one of an infinite number of possible manifestations of change, but even if we have past the point of no return and are headed full speed to a self-fulfilling prophecy of the apocalypse, what does it ultimately represent but a transition of energy? Life cannot be destroyed. This is a realization I came to many years back and was reinforced during my time in Africa.

The night after having been discharged from the hospital in Nairobi I had an experience, an epiphany of sorts that changed my entire outlook on life. This is something I often loose sight of trying to keep in step with the chaos of the modern world. How I came to that point is a very long and complex history, which I won’t attempt to communicate here. The important point is that I was in a position of complete helplessness, physically incapacitated, penniless, and isolated in a foreign city thousands of miles from any type of support base. I was in a great deal of pain. I could hardly remain standing for more than a few moments and as I lay in bed, I could feel the violence of my urban surroundings penetrating each of my bodily senses. My identity as self was being drowned out in the sensation and I knew that the future course of my existence depended upon an immediate decision. Either there was an intrinsic meaning to each and every aspect of life, or there was complete and total insanity.

The explanation for the seeming injustice that surrounds us may remain a mystery for some time yet, but the acceptance that such an explanation does in fact exist was at that time the only thing that would allow me to cope with my situation. I made the logical choice and ascribed my faith to the universe. Since that time, discipline and patience have been the guiding principles of my life; the discipline to remain focused on the path that I have chosen and the patience to endure the pain and suffering that comes with it.

This year my primary focus is on physical and spiritual healing, in the form of yoga and meditation. I will continue to struggle with the same issues that I have taken on over the last several years, but I have decided that my ability to work effectively is greatly enhanced when I’m not feeling overwhelmed by my own personal physical and emotional trauma. I am continuing with several other forms of therapy, including chiropractic, massage, acupuncture, sports medicine, rolfing, etc. My experiences have been teaching me a great deal about the human body, energy fields, and different healing techniques, which I consider invaluable education. I still have a way to go, but I am feeling very positive about the direction in which I am heading. I’m sure many of you have some exciting New Year resolutions that I would love to hear about. In the meantime I hope that this letter finds you all in the best of spirits.

Peace, Love, and Blessings to all, Nathaniel

P.S. I realize that these experiences will not impress you as they have me. Some things can only be experienced first hand, but I would still love to hear any thoughts, emotions, questions or criticism that my words may have evoked. Whether you were entertained, inspired, annoyed, or nauseated, I would appreciate your response. I would also be interested in any stories that you might like to share. Shraddha

Teach, Learn, Share

Qi gong, somatic movement education, shamanic studies, reiki.

Countries I’ve Visited

Bolivia, Canada, Colombia, Egypt, Guatemala, Italy, Kenya, Malawi, Mexico, Mozambique, Peru, Rwanda, Switzerland, Uganda, United States, Zambia, Zimbabwe

Countries I’ve Lived In

Italy, Peru, United States

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